“My wife never makes me feel this good. This should be a crime, but I’m glad it’s not. Thank you, weird man dressed like Jesus”
Hey, guys! RobBarracuda here, and it’s time to recap and review this week’s episode of Black Jesus, titled “Hands of God”, an episode full of heavenly massages and various attempts at male prostitution! Let’s get started.
The episode begins with Lloyd getting kidnapped by Jesus, who keeps demanding to wash his feet. Jesus gives a thorough washing and massage to Lloyd’s feet as Jason and Boonie watch, and he claims that God told him to do so, even though Jesus himself doesn’t really want to wash feet (a direct allusion to Jesus washing the feet of his disciples in the New Testament of the Bible, specifically John Chapter 13:1-17). Later, he’s giving the same treatment to Ms. Tudi (Jason and Boonie are also present), and she suggests that Jesus use his talents and the food truck to start a mobile spa business.
She even pitches a name for the truck, “Angelic Hands”, and Jesus agrees to do so, with Tudi presenting him a blunt before he heads out. Lloyd runs into Jesus and asks relentlessly about another foot massage, suddenly claiming he enjoyed how good his feet felt afterwards. Jesus lets him know that he set up the truck downtown and to swing on by if he really wants a massage. Fish drives him to the truck’s location, and there’s a sizeable crowd of women waiting to get a massage. Tudi shows off the name of the truck, which is now called “Hands of God” since she believes it has a better ring to it. While Jesus gets prepared to go to work in the truck, Tudi lets the crowd know that Fish will tend to their needs while waiting, and they all are perfectly okay with this, even wanting him to take his shirt off. Jesus takes his time massaging a woman’s feet, but Ms. Tudi demands that he speeds up the process and not waste any time. The business seems to be operating like normal, with Jesus massaging and Fish acting as the “massage fluffer” (according to Boonie). Trigger, one of the Hispanic gang members from the first season, drops Maggie off at the truck with some nail supplies to help with business. In the middle of normal operations, a woman goes up to Ms. Tudi and asks about the possibility of a “full body massage” from Fish. Jesus steps out of the truck and talks to Ms. Tudi, who presents him with half of the money they’ve made that day. She asks Jesus and Maggie to go by the supermarket to spread word of the business, and he goes off to do so, giving some of his money to the women waiting in line. Ms. Tudi attempts to get Fish to keep the women busy while Jesus isn’t around, offering him some good-ass weed in exchange.
Fish is rubbing a woman’s legs in the truck, and she quickly proceeds to wrap her legs around his neck and demand a “full body treatment”. Fish quickly bails and asks Ms. Tudi about what’s happening, confident that she’s pretty much pimping him out to the customers. She tries to weasel her way out of directly admitting it, but her excuses are really weak, although she bases her logic on when she caught Fish doing male stripping in the first episode of this season. Lloyd also happens to be waiting in line at this time. At the supermarket entrance, Jesus and Maggie are attempting to get customers, and Jesus asks about her relationship with Trigger. Meanwhile, Fish takes a break from massaging women to smoke and drink, and Boonie chews him out for what he’s doing. Ms. Tudi comes by and lets Fish know that he only has five minutes for a break. Lloyd gets really pushy about his massage, and Boonie makes him leave.
We then see Dianne out on a date with a guy who keeps making extraordinarily cringe-worthy comments about her sex appeal. He’s clearly a loser, even revealing that he still lives with his mom.
Dianne gets a call from Lloyd about the activity going on at the truck, and she uses this as an excuse to leave her terrible date. Back at the supermarket, Jesus suspects that Tudi might just exploiting Jesus and his talents. Frank, the market’s security guard, then appears and angrily tells Jesus to leave the premises. A woman getting massaged in the truck screams out Jesus’ name, and this is when he decides to head back to the truck. Dianne shows up with her fellow cop (Jaleel White) at the truck’s location, and finds Jason massaging a woman’s legs in a very suggestive manner, which isn’t helped when Boonie describes him as a fluffer. Jesus sneaks into the truck and berates Fish for what he’s doing. Ms. Tudi tries to get Dianne to leave, but this doesn’t work, and she quickly breaks into the back of the truck and sees Jesus doing his business. She tries to place him and the gang under arrest for male prostitution, but Jesus tries to convince her that foot massages are all that are going on. He offers to massage her partner’s feet, and afterwards he’s quite pleased.
Dianne has no choice but to leave now, and Jesus mentions that his gang will all get struck by lightning one day. As Jason, Boonie, and himself walk away, Ms. Tudi splits the money she made with Fish, and the episode ends with the two of them claiming that Jesus will forgive them for their actions, like he always does.
There was quite a lot of interesting stuff going on this week. The biggest source of interest in this episode is the main plot about Jesus massaging and washing feet, which is probably the most explicit reference yet the series has made to a prominent Biblical passage. The chapter in question takes place during the famous Last Supper before Jesus was taken away to be crucified. When Jesus washes his disciples’ feet, he claims to know that not all of his disciples are clean, referencing his betrayal by Judas. If there was to be a Judas parallel in this series, then it would be Lloyd beyond a shadow of a doubt. Despite having clean feet, Lloyd is very much unclean all over his body, and on top of that, he’s sold out Jesus to the police twice this season. There’s also a potential interesting conflict raised by the last couple of lines in the episode, as Ms. Tudi and Fish seem content with abusing and taking advantage of Jesus’ nature. I get the sense that Ms. Tudi is supposed to be acting as a devil figure of sorts, constantly trying to seduce Jesus away from his desire to go legit, like that well-known story where Jesus spent 40 days in the desert and was frequently tempted by Satan. We also get some more conflict with the Jason/Dianne relationship, where we clearly see that Dianne really hasn’t found a good man to replace Jason, although it doesn’t seem like the two will make up anytime soon. Aside from the silly plot shenanigans, we also get some funny jokes out of Boonie, who basically has no purpose in this episode other than to stand around, talk shit, and get on people’s nerves. He’s almost like the Jerry (Rick & Morty) of the show, except he actually says funny things. Great episode, and I look forward to next week.
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