You know what to do. It’s time we Ranch Up another Eric Andre recap, Brotendo!
The opening has Eric destroying the set, pulling out his intestines, turning it into a magic trick, spraying champagne into his face, and doing a weird plank with Hannibal. As he starts, he doesn’t talk. But Eric goes to Hannibal, and just starts smacking him. He cries, hugs him, and tells Hannibal he loves him, as he keeps smacking him. Hannibal punches Eric cause of this, and it pisses Eric off. He threatens to “take him to Ferguson.”
Horse Costume: The horse costume is back, as this time a woman is the front of the horse, and Eric is in back. They get it on, as she is enacting her fantasies from this, and she loves it. Oh, did I forget to mention they’re doing this on a train in front of freaked out passengers? Anyway, eat some MacDonalds.
Before the first interview, Hannibal has to leave, so for his co-hosting duties, he brings out “Hannibal 9000”, a robot who looks like him, to take his place the rest of the show.
Raymond Cruz Interview: Raymond Cruz from Breaking Bad fame appears, and Hannibal 9000 kindly welcomes him on the show. As Eric spins in his chair, he asks if Cruz ever passed on Breaking Bad. Which he did. 3 times. Cause he thought it wouldn’t work. In between India talk and being in “Cruz control”, Hannibal 9000 malfunctions, while Eric also reveals his age, which is 69. Then Hannibal 9000’s co-host comes out, and it’s a fat, bearded, shirtless guy, who does the worm, and does it pretty good. Eric tells the chairs to go fuck themselves, and Kraft Punk cheeses Cruz. Later, stuff falls from above, which Eric eats. He gives some to Cruz, which he sees is a weird ass tuna sandwich. Then, the desk gives birth to a desk baby. Awww. Eric is the father of the desk baby. Cause he raped the desk. Which he is gonna do next to Cruz.
Ranch It up!: It’s time for more Ranch, as we have Suicide Bongers, Virtual Reality Sunglasses, a guy for the cover of “Call of Cuties”, another stranger who has a Trader Joe’s new lot, and Air DJing. Hell yeah, it’s tight.
Mail Man Eric: Eric is a fat mailman who gets stuck in a mail box and needs some help getting out. He pesters a kid who he sings a song to, but the kid is also Hannibal 9000.
Amber Rose Interview: Former wife of rapper Wiz Khalifa (that’s all I’ll say about her) Amber Rose comes on, and like the last guest, Hannibal 9000 welcomes her nicely. Eric asks for her phone number, and if she has a boyfriend. Eric also needs to wash. He’ll do that in front of her. Hell, he’ll shit in front of her. He also asks why she tweeted out “Ching-Chong, Ching-Chong!” on Twitter, and why she shaved “Male Pattern Baldness” into her head. Everyone starts to talk loudly, including the band’s drummer who speaks Spanish (or some form of it) to her. Amber Rose has a new song out too, even though she denies she ever sings. The lyrics involve the words “shit”, “piss”, and “suck shit out piss”. She says she never wrote it, but Eric has proof, as it is on the note card he has. We are then greeted by Desky, who Eric beats to death with a bat.
Ranch It Up!, Part 2: More ranch shenanigans, with people like “Ranch Dubois”. We also have some Energy Pizza, and you may need some 9/11 in your mouth.
To close, musician Thundercat is on, and he has a bass off with Hannibal 9000.
As they rock out, Hannibal’s dad comes out, and he tells the two to just get along. He then hugs Thundercat, which makes the dude uncomfortable. Mostly cause Hannibal’s dads’ dick is hanging out.
Another good episode that gave us more ranch and horseplay. Literally. And while your opinion of Amber Rose will vary, it was a fun interview cause of how she felt being around him. I should say, Eric did mention to her that he needed a bath, and if you saw the interview he did on Conan earlier this week, he wasn’t lying. He literally did this season without bathing for a long time, so his look is actually all (disgustingly) natural. Other than her, Raymond Cruz was a fun guest too. And Hannibal 9000 can really rock out with the best of them …. Kinda. See ya next week as the Ranch Revolution continues.