JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood Episode 1 Recap – Dio the Invader

What is JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure?

You may think this is a particularly easy question to answer, but actually try to explain it to an outsider in one paragraph at most without looking like a crazy person or just going directly to “The stupidest thing ever, but also the most fun thing ever.” It’s…actually difficult. No, it’s not really stupid, but what else is there to say? Well, here’s what I have to say: It’s a bunch of stories molded together into one story. At one point you could be in a women’s prison, and another you could be horse-racing. But here we’re going to recap the first and shortest part of JoJo: Phantom Blood. This is the tale of two brothers. One wants to seize control of a family fortune. The other has to stop him. This is 0215MADman, and welcome to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

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The year is 1868. A horse and carriage carrying a family of 3 crashes off a cliff. Only two survive: The father, George Joestar, and the baby, Jonathan Joestar, nicknamed JoJo. They are rescued by a man named Dario Brando, accompanied by his wife. Also with the Joestars is a suitcase with a mask that of which activates when it comes in contact with blood.

12 years go by. Dario is about to pass away. His son, Dio Brando, who has been gambling to get the money for his father’s medicine, is sent to live with the Joestars. Dio, however, has…other plans for the Joestars. Once he arrives he KNEES JOJO’S DOG IN THE FUCKING JAW!

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Say what you want about Darth Vader, but did he squish a puppy?

JoJo’s naïve ass is not suspicious yet. He would much rather try to be friends with Dio. Understandable, it’s what I would do. However, Dio would much rather have nothing to do with JoJo. After a short montage of JoJo’s father being a dick to his son, we see a boxing match between JoJo & Dio. This scene is a slight metaphor for what has happened to JoJo’s life since Dio arrived: JoJo is on top until Dio comes around, beats the shit out of his reputation, jams a thumb in the eye to solidify is superiority and finally gets all the fame and glory JoJo once had. So basically my last few years in Elementary school.

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Hopefully the glove wasn’t sharp.

Despite JoJo’s life being a pile of shit, he still has one thing Dio can’t take away: true wuv. A girl by the name of Erina Pendleton has made his life much more optimistic. Hopefully nothing happens to their relations-OH LOOK WHO IT IS!

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16 minutes into the first episode and a meme is born.

So yeah, after Dio mouth rapes Erina, that suddenly makes her and JoJo’s relationship awkward. Once JoJo finds out what Dio did (actually he only assumed, and you all know what assuming does), it’s time for the first real fight in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure! Yeah, there was the boxing match earlier, but this is the first fight that showcases what people remember JoJo for: being batshit insane.

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Although brief, the encounter continues to hint the mask’s potential. So, what does Dio do to take revenge? Well, remember when Dio kneed that poor dog (his name is Danny BTW)? What could be crueler than that? Burning it. Alive.

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This isn’t even animal abuse, it’s animal homicide!

And that’s how this episode ends. If you think to yourself “Oh man, there’s 100+ episodes of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure! It’s gonna be Hunter x Hunter again!” First off, if no one watches, Parts 3- will never be on Toonami. Second, the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure manga is one of the longest running mangas. Ever. At the time of this writing, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has released it’s 905th chapter. Naruto and Bleach had about 700 each. It’s not a fair comparison as both of those had filler and JJBA has yet to see an ounce of it, but you see the point. In order to properly entice you to continue watching it needed to grab you hard and never let go. And I believe this did. There’s enough reasons for you to hate Dio, and enough reasons to sympathize/root for JoJo. Also, you’re REALLY gonna want to pay attention to that mask.

Final rating: 8 “But it was me, Dio!” memes out of 10.

See you next week when we launch 7 years into the future to see what has become of JoJo and Dio’s relationship.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure can be seen dubbed online on the official [adult swim] website: http://www.adultswim.com/videos/jojos-bizarre-adventure/
If you want you can also stream JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure at any of the links here.

Dubbed-http://www.adultswim.com/misc/jojos-bizarre-adventure/

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/jojos-bizarre-adventure-season/id1014107055
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/tv/show/JoJo_s_Bizarre_Adventure?id=VRa62MHJ_2Q&hl=en
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Jojos-Bizarre-Adventure-Complete-Season/dp/B012ICFK1Q/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

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Crunchyroll: http://www.crunchyroll.com/jojos-bizarre-adventure

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