Is this the finale? Shit, this may as well be the finale. Oh well, let me recap this while doing some whippets.
The opening has the destruction of the set come with more “impact”. Eric destroys a camera, then does a POV shot of him destroying the set. He pulls out his dick and makes it get as long as it can. And slaps himself in the face with it. And then he stops two Asian dudes who were fighting. How nice of him. Hannibal comes on as he rips a paper shot of the set. The monologue is him congratulating Paula Deen at successfully having a pussy surgically implanted on her dog body.
TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZA BALL!!: Guess what time it is? It’s “TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZA BALL!!” Why not send one to a karate class taught by “Ramadan Steve”? With this pizza ball, you too, can be taught Scientology and get a free dildo. Plus, the karate teacher didn’t follow the Karate Kid rules when Eric challenge him. What an ass.
Jack Black Interview: Famous rock musician/comedian and actor Jack Black comes on. With his name, Eric thought he be a brotha. To start, Eric gets out some whippets and they both do some. It gets Jack pretty fucked up. Then fireworks go off behind Eric, and then the birds. They’re above them, and they kinda have a bird problem. There’s discussion of the embarrassing Brad Pitt movie 12 Monkeys, until Eric’s cup breaks and squirts coffee everywhere. Eric then sings his new song, “Hot Chicken”, and thinks that Led Zeppelin should be renamed the “4 Losers”. Jack says the whippets may have fired his brain, for the interview is weird (if he only knew). The birds above then shit all over him.
Later on, since Jack is known as a liar throughout Hollywood, it’s time for him to take a Lie Detector test. First question, what did he have for lunch today? He says sushi, which the detector shocks him for lying. So next question, what did Jack have for lunch yesterday? He doesn’t want to be shocked and doesn’t remember. But he says he was on a plane. He gets shocked for this, as he swears it was true. Now for his home address. Jack is not giving that out, and he still gets shocked. This is basically torture now, as Jack wants to know who is shocking him. (It’s the Asian guy in back.)
Construction Worker: Eric is injured in a construction accident, and needs some help. But everyone just freaks at his injury. This was brought to you by Christian Single.
Meet Adam: A random guy named Adam is on a train, and Eric in his karate uniform kicks his ass. Or tires to. Now someone on that train give him some money for that whooping he delivered.
Jennette McCurdy Interview: From whatever Nick show she was on (sorry, I don’t watch Nick much other than Spongebob), Jennette McCurdy comes on. Eric pauses for a bit, before Hannibal tells him to ask her something. Other than Nick, she did date a basketball player before. Was it Magic? She dated Eazy-E and Freddie Mercury too. Her nudes also got leaked, and Eric has them for her to see.
Or maybe it’s not her. Hannibal has a new spin-off show coming soon called “Hannibal goes to Japan!” (with anime girls included) and then Eric breaks the set. He is having a hard time, and needs her to make him look good. He gets very, VERY close to her face, tells her he loves her, and needs her to help him. Hannibal ignores this and reads a porno mag.
Airport Shuttle: People at the airport enter the shuttle Eric is driving. He takes them on a ride through a fence. It might be the new meds he is on that is doing this. A cop comes to the accident, and he blames the black woman inside before escaping.
To close, the show can finally investigate 311. Hell yeah!! He has the band 311 all tied up, and he and others torture them for info as they perform. Rapper T-Pain also comes out, and he gets beat up by Eric too.
Overall, this finale, which I believe it to be, was a great way to wrap up Season 4. Jack Black being tortured, Jennette McCurdy being disturbed, and 311 getting tortured too was an overall fun time. This season gave us more Ranch, Snakey, weirded-out guests, Energy Pizza, Kraft Punk, and more. But it didn’t give us a Sprite sponsorship. Maybe in season 5 it will. But Season 4 was a success for me, and I can’t wait to see more of this unreal talk show. Until then, get yourself a pizza ball, while watching the worst show on television.
[swim squad] 